It’s been quite a while since I’ve had a fixed schedule.
One where I had to get up at a specific time and be someplace, be presentable, dress in regular clothes, and interact with people as a working person in the world, and I’m not talking about being in quarantine.
As a psychic, my working life has never followed a conventional path, and for the last few years, I mostly work over the phone and from home. In some ways, my life hasn’t changed that much in our new Covid -19 land, or so I thought.
Now that we are here, deep in it, life has been stranger in odd ways that although it seems like I should be able to, I couldn’t have predicted. Time has taken on a surreal feel. These jokes that have been going around online say it all.
Amazon: “Your package will be delivered on Wednesday.”
Me: ” When is that?”
“What time do you change out of your daytime pyjamas into your nighttime pyjamas?”
Of course, I laugh because I see and recognize myself. Commitments, my social life, the plans I was making disappeared, and without the outside moorings that allowed me to define my experience. I’ve had to re-organize my ideas about who I am in the world, let go of beliefs that don’t work for who I’m becoming. I’ve also discovered that it’s not easy to navigate big swathes of unexpected empty and seemingly endless time. In the beginning, I thought this was a perfect opportunity to do all the things that had been on the to-do list. Like cleaning out the basement, re-organize the filing cabinet, write a book, or as I thought I might create and offer an online course. None of which has happened, because as one day began to slide into another
my physical and emotional energy unexpectedly began to shift as well.
Changing day to day, like summer weather in the mountains.
Sunny and hot in the morning, clouding over in the afternoon, becoming a bit chilly in the afternoon with maybe some thunder and lightning, some exciting hailstones. Then sunny again, then cloudy and before you know it, it’s evening, warm, with beautiful clear skies, shooting stars winging across an inky night sky.
I think I’m getting it now. I’m leaning in, letting go of expectations about what each day will bring, learning to pace myself, accepting that COVID time is different. I’m re-framing my relationship with how I measure the passage of time. I’m slowing down. I pace myself, figuring out how to manage expectations, cultivating discernment about the use of my energy, so I don’t squander it on things that don’t matter. I’m keeping life simple, realizing that while I have lots of big ideas, for me, now is not the time to be putting them into action. So, while I still have the idea for an online course or two, I may or may not be teaching them right now, and that is fine. I continue to write on my blog and have decided that for now, instead of posting once a week, I’ll post every other week. I think change is the name of this game right now, and embracing uncertainty is what is needed for me, taking it one day at a time. What will happen next as we continue forward in this new world?
I guess …only time will tell.
( By the way, I am still offering my COVID special pricing for the moment, $100 for an hour & $50 for a half. If you want to book, text or email me at 604 720 7652 or firstname.lastname@example.org. If you are interested in looking at my blog posts, go to www;mythirstyheart.com and check it out. Feel free to pass them along if you find it helpful)
Picture courtesy of Ben White/Unsplash